Forgiveness

There are some interesting discussions in the ether about forgiveness.
I don't believe in forgiveness.

Before everyone leaps to the conclusion that I am some sort of angry sink of bitterness that wishes woe on every passer by in some stereotypical hag way, I am not angry, bitter or mean. 

As my beloved described  it, I am a person with a happy heart.

I believe in letting negative things go, offering them up to the universe as beyond my control, and taking responsibility for my own emotional health. I believe in  making the decision that the anger or pain or frustration that I am feeling doesn't make me healthy, happy or the best servant to myself, my family, my community or my deities of choice.

So how is that different from forgiveness?

Forgiveness is defined as the act of excusing a mistake or offense or the act of granting pardon for or remission of something.

To me, to excuse or pardon something is to overlook or ignore or forget that something happened.

That runs counter to my "life is learning" point of view. If you aren't using those negative experiences to learn from, you will keep repeating them.  And the more you keep repeating them, they will get harder, more extreme, until you are pushed to your limit.

And if someone snarls up their orlog making my life miserable, it is not up to me to pardon them. That's part of their balance sheet with the universe, their deities of choice, their life path. I can't pardon them.

You don't have to hold on to the negativity to learn, but you do have to acknowledge the occurrence, look at it, pull out the bits you need and let the rest go. Or you won't learn anything.

Your mileage will most certainly vary.